Tyvärr är denna artikel enbart tillgänglig på English.

Tyvärr är denna artikel enbart tillgänglig på English.

I love tango. But that has been a recent addition to my life.

I was born in Mallorca (Spain) from an Argentinean mother. One could think it natural that I liked tango for that reason. However, she is from Rosario, not Buenos Aires, and during her youth the government required the transmission of tango every hour on the radio, interrupting the rest of the programs. With this experience, for her, tango had been something imposed and thus it was never played in my home.

Funny enough, my adoptive grandpa, who was born in the neighboring island of Ibiza, had worked as a sailor and had visited Argentina. I was raised in Mallorca hearing him nun and sing tangos to himself, in particular ”Mi Buenos Aires querido” (”My beloved Buenos Aires”). I still feel a pang of yearning when I hear one of those themes.

But it was not until much later, when I was thirty years old, that tango really entered my life. It was by the hand of my Argentinean friend Marcelo (boyfriend back then), who turned out to be a professional tango dancer and teacher… and lived in Ibiza. What interesting coincidences.

He took me to a milonga and I must confess my first experience on the dance floor was rather pitiful. Not in vain, my skills as a dancer are rather rudimentary… But I started diligently taking classes in order to be able to share this experience with him. And in it, I discovered a passion of my own.

I discovered to my surprise that tango implies a fascinating energy exchange between man and woman. Yang and Yin, for those familiar with oriental terminology. Male and female. Energies that flow, creating shapes in space. Musicosophia in movement, for those who know this amazing technique of German origin. It is a dance that requires a perfect rapport between both dancers, I would say even a degree of extrasensory perception or telepathy in the woman in order to follow the man… Naturally, the man must indicate the steps he intends to take, but the woman must be able to perceive, sense, incorporate –and then add her own creative touch.

In tango I found what I always wanted to find in a dance: something to dance in an environment that lacked the disharmonic rhythms and wounding light changes of a disco, to an adequate volume, with people of an age akin to mine. A dance with pretty shoes and dazzling dresses, but which also admits simple clothing –even though skirts with ample movement will always show off and give pleasure to the eyes.

Once the technique is mastered and between two dancers who are well in tune with each other and are conscious of what they are doing aside from dancing, and are able to perceive it, the game of energy exchange is a party of lights and shapes invisible to the human eye –or rather: the traditional eye will get distracted with the figures and dresses but whoever has the third eye open may enjoy a much deeper experience.

As for me, I will keep practicing in order to achieve that level of fluency that enables me to thoroughly enjoy this dance which I now love so much.

I was chatting with a friend and we got to speak about this very frequent situation: you break up with somebody ”but” you still love them.
But? Whenever somebody tells me that I point it out to them: why but? If you did things right and you behaved with respect, and the other party did so too, the natural thing is (or should be) that there still would be some degree of friendship and love. After all, you’ve shared time together, maybe even lived together. I still feel affection for the men I once loved (requited or not) and not only in my own opinion but also in that of the experts on the subject, it is healthy that it be so.

The problem comes when a person ”stays hung on” the old relationship. When they still are desperately craving the other person to be their partner. When it is not unconditional love but a strong possessive love with romantic wishes. That is not healthy, because if it has already been decided that the relationship must end, if both parties have talked about it and decided it was not good to continue together, it is better to let go (I do not refer to the cases in which the relationship can still be saved with some effort and commitment by both parties, rather to relationships which have been pronounced to be over).

In the context of my friend, the guy she’s in love with is confused because although he loves her, he also still loves his ex. It’s in these cases when it’s worth pointing out that keeping feelings of fondness and affection towards an ex is perfectly healthy. It is not a reason to stop moving forward to new relationships.

It would be desirable that as the years go by, if you were not lucky enough to find your soul mate in your early teens, that people with whom you have a romantic interaction can still keep a friendly relationship with you, in good terms. Probably not ”best friends” anymore, but indeed good will, trust, friendship and unconditional love. I wish all relationships would always end like that – the world would be a better place. Unfortunately that does not always happen.

In this wonderful world of ours, for better and for worse, we all were given the gift of Agency. That means we all can choose what to do, what to think, how to act, what to believe in, or what to eat. What we are not given is the right to decide for someone else, or to control/manipulate them. Unfortunately, we some times get so eager with sharing what we believe to be absolutely true, that we dogmatize it.

I started being interested in nutrition when I was so small I cannot put an age on it. I think I was around 3 years old the first time I baked cookies. Reading nutrition started me on a fascinating path and I explored the benefits of vegetarianism, dissociated diet, macrobiotics… I remember conversations is several people who over the years complained that ”bread makes you fat” and I retorted ”bread is not the culprit, it’s what you put on it that makes you fat”.
Years later I have also become acquainted with gluten intolerances, Paleo diet, Zone diet, the concept of GI (Glycemic Index) and others, and I realize I was totally wrong. Yes, in many cases, ”bread makes you fat”. And what you put on it can make you fat too.

Please do not waste your energy with an argument!
Share your views and your understanding of things with as much clarity and respect as you can.
Each body is different, each person is different. We all have different needs, both regarding food and regarding other aspects of life. And what may be an obvious truth for you today, may be proven wrong 10 years later.

Let us communicate with respect and love and seek to understand the other person’s views!